My job may be difficult, but it is never boring.
Teaching is all in one the most challenging and rewarding part of my life. However, there are some times when I just have to stop and laugh at the ridiculousness of the day-to-day roles I find myself filling. Here are a few quotes from those times in the past six weeks. **Names have been changed to protect the identity of my students**
Things I Heard:
“I’m a rare breed Mrs. Oden”
After receiving a graded paper with a 93: “Yessss I’m a big baller!”
About Osama Bin Laden:
“They didn’t kill him! He’s not dead!” “Yes he is! They even made a documentary! They wouldn’t make a fake documentary!”
“Can I call my mom? It’s an emergency! I realllly need some chapstick!”
“That 5th grader just said I’m savage Miss!”
“Sometimes I get the feeling Mrs. Frizzle was tryin’ to kill them kids…”
“I’m savage. I’m in a CLAN of savage.”
“Y’all be quiet. It’s gonna be a long day for her. She needs to relax!”
“What are the tubes inside the plants that transport water called?” “XYLOPHONES!!!”
“Dang! I got me some gooooood handwriting!”
“Stupid turtles they ruin EVERYTHING!”
“I was gonna bring you a Valentine. It was an iTunes card, but then I remembered you don’t have an iPhone. So I spent it all on me.”
Things I Said:
“When you cut yourself playing with scissors I’m not giving you a bandaid”
“Science rulez, but it can’t bring back Harambe.”
“Zachary, this is science, NOT interpretative dance class.”
“Get quiet and find something to work on. Reading your juice box doesn’t count!”
“I swear, if you put that tape anywhere other than your paper today, you’re going to the office”
“NO you cannot bring your own knife to school! And NO you cannot take a sheep heart home with you!”
“No! You’re not a bird! Stop it!”
“If we had gills we wouldn’t be humans!”
Conversations with Students:
Me: “What are you doing?!?”
Kid: “I’m just feeling my arm.”
Kid 1: “These smell like dog treats!”
Kid 2: “They TASTE like dog treats!”
Me: “How do you know what dog treats taste like?…”
Me to myself: “I should sit down and grade papers huh?”…
Kid: “Yes, you should.”
As kid hits his head on pencil:
“Are you trying to break a pencil with your head?”
“Yeah. I can do that”
“Oh my gosh…”
“Wanna see?”
“No. please don’t.”
“What other organs are parts of our digestive system?”
“Our private parts!”
“OUR BUTTS!”
“You’re gonna give me gray hair!”
“You can just dye it back!”
“You are so sweet, why do you always tell me thank you?”
“Because you taught us…and you don’t have to”
