Teaching is an interesting profession, and 7th graders are interesting creatures.
Every now and then (read: every day) I find myself chuckling to myself about the situations I find myself in and the things I hear and say. So, in an effort to maintain my sanity and sense of humor in what is possibly the most mind-numbing grading period of the year, I began recording a collection of stories and quotes to share with you.
Although you might not believe some of these quotes are genuine, I assure you no edit has been made other than the names of students.
So, without further ado, I present some of the most interesting parts of the last six weeks of my life.
Things I Heard
“You should let us hear the bad words in the movie next time”
“Ew. no. All of the Aidens here are ugly”
“What’s your favorite throwback song? Mine has to be N*sync something”
“Can I please just stay in your class all day?”
“JOHN! WHAT are you doing?!? You are NOT a cat, you can NOT just curl up on the counter and sleep!”
“Can I name my Space Colony after Harambe?!”
“Mrs. Oden you’re the only girl that gets to come to my Space Colony. Except for my mom.”
“They won’t stop calling me ‘white Dora’ because of my bangs!”
“What is beef jerky?? Like, is it animals or plants?”
“You can’t just strip down naked and run around, it’ll be too hot on Mercury!”
“How am I supposed to wash my face up in space?? I need my face cream and my moisturizer! This is too hard!”
**on a day when all students are asked to dress nicely** “Mrs. Oden, I’m sad. I couldn’t find anything nice for me to wear.” *insert sound of my heart breaking*
“Your boots sound like a horse!”
“My cat almost ruined our Halloween tree!” “What?…” “My mom accidentally threw out our Christmas tree, so we have an orange Halloween tree this year!”
Things I Said
“Stop eating your shirt.”
“That’s not how you eat string cheese.”
“No Javier, you don’t look just like Julio, but the back of your heads DO look exactly the same.”
“Contrary to recent events, bullies DON’T always win. So keep your rude thoughts to yourself.”
“You, son, are a mess.”
“You like my mustard sock but not my ketchup sock?”
“Why would you take one bite of an apple and then throw it on the floor??”
“Air conditioners won’t help you survive on Venus, even if they’re giant”
“You’re going to grow corn dogs on Mars??? You realize corn dogs aren’t a vegetable, right?…”
“NO ONE gets to take my cat to their space colony! He needs me!”
To another Teacher “ I am… SO. TIRED. OF. HARAMBE!!!”
Conversations With Students
Student: I’m so stupid
Me: no you aren’t!
Student: I just ask stupid questions all the time that I already know the answer to.
Me: ahhhh so see you AREN’T stupid, just really annoying.
As he’s holding his breakfast pizza to his face–
Me: …are you ok?
Student: Yeah, it’s just warm and my face is cold.